College Dilemma pt.2

This is the part where I get conflicted.

(…) continued.

The three factors that I mentioned previously that hinder me from attending universities abroad cannot be altered unless God decides to give me way from a source nearly impossible for my own capability to reach. But on the other hand, the effort I have given myself into aren’t necessarily washable or easily ignored: an analogy would be someone having second thoughts a week before their wedding after preparing the ceremony.

And I was that person.

Even though I’m completely aware of this, I somehow managed to convince myself that whatever happens, whichever university I attend, I will (with Allah’s permission) remain grateful and thankful. As someone who’s quiet stubborn and hopeful of her dreams, it’s not an easy thing to do. Heck, back then I would even say things such as, “Oh I don’t know what I would do if I had to stay behind in Indonesia for college. I think I might be depressed. Mental, even.” But now, none of those things really matter and I doubt I would feel the same as I did in the past.

You might be wondering how? Well, I think I mostly owe my sincerest gratitude to my friend Bagasrafi who passed away last month for being a great reminder to me. A reminder that life is truly brief and that we shouldn’t ponder too hard on these worldly matters; that at the end of the day, putting our trust in Allah and being concerned over the Hereafter is what truly matters.

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A cute photo as a tribute to Bagas for reminding me. He would’ve hated me if he knew I did this! 

(My statement above does not mean you shouldn’t be concerned about the exams and university admissions though! You should. Because it’s tough. And hopefully that serves as a reminder for you to continue studying and praying hard!)

After having a new perspective of this dilemma, at first I wanted to completely ignore the idea that I still have documents to submit to those six foreign schools. I wanted to simply forget that I ever wasted so many dedications in making it to submitting my application. But I decided that it was wiser to continue the admission process until a letter of acceptance (or not…) is given to me.

So what now, Zee? Well…what other choices do I have? Apply here, in Indonesia.

Where will you be going? Hopefully either one from these three: UI, ITB, UGM. And if you were wondering which class I’ll be taking, I’ll most probably be taking FEB (Fakultas Ekonomi Bisnis) international class.

By the way, which universities abroad have you sent your applications to? Tons! Here they are:

  1. University of Massachusetts, Lowell
  2. Bryant University
  3. Northeastern University
  4. Boston University
  5. University of Calgary
  6. University of Alberta

And yes, I did all of the application procedure myself, along with some help from my English teacher as I needed a counselor to sort out the transcript. Anyway let me know in the comments below if you want to read any more posts that’s related to this topic. It would be a delight to know your requests!

Therefore, I hereby declare another beginning of tackling university admissions in which I will try to document them in words right here, in this blog.

(…) to be continued.

College Dilemma pt.1

Today I want to write to you about a topic that many of my relatives and friends ask me the moment they realize I’m a senior in high school. It is never a simple topic to begin with considering how much of a dilemma it has given me, but I have always wanted to write about it sort of as a way to get it out of my chest. And as you can tell from the title of this blog post, it’s about: where I am going to for college.

If you don’t know me in real life, then you wouldn’t know that I personally really want to study in America ever since I was a child for many reasons not a lot of people can understand, apart from the general knowledge that America is the heart of numerous of leading campuses in the world. Now that I’m a senior (12th grader), I decided to begin searching for universities that placed a seat in my heart, and ended up applying to four schools in America and two in Canada.

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BU was among the schools I wanted to attend the most.

The application procedure isn’t at all difficult in my opinion -it is stressful, yes I understand, but because these universities have very informative websites, I didn’t find any trouble in finishing my applications. And in case any of my readers are interested in applying to America, I advice you begin your research as soon as possible and take the exams that are required such as the SAT (if you’re not under the American curriculum) and IELTS. Then, open the Common Application for more information on applying to universities. You can also find helpful articles there such as how to pay for college, exploring different schools and even virtual tours around the campuses! So do plan ahead, because college is something that you cannot take lightly. Besides, it is always good to be prepared in a journey than not.

That being said, I reckon you might now be wondering why it’s a dilemma for me if it wasn’t at all difficult. Well, here comes the tricky part.

Firstly, I am a Muslim, and a young female one at that. Therefore, travelling to a faraway country cannot be done without a Mahram according to Islam. Even though I have relatives there and I have spoken to them about this topic, they too seem to advice me to stay for now. Secondly, the financial place my family is at isn’t amazing enough to handle purchasing this long term commitment despite the fact that it could with a few determinations. I suppose it’s the same for everyone who wants to study in America where most schools cost an average of $33,215 (or Rp 444,000,000) annually, unless you come from a family where a string of five-digit numbers for a school year is a piece of cake. Thirdly, and controversially one of the reasons I chose this particular country, it is very far away from Indonesia.

Though I’ve known these factors long before sending in my applications, I was reluctant to accept them and always tried to reason to my parents about it as if they weren’t clear enough. It took many months of delusion for me to finish my requirements to apply to those 6 foreign universities. I took the SAT, IELTS and several of Cambridge IGCSE’s that truthfully took a lot of hard work and money. Plus, if I were to calculate the total amount of money my father had spent in paying for the application fees for all 6 schools, he’s spent around $490. It may not seem much until you convert it to Indonesian Rupiah whilst adding the payment fee.

This is the part where I get conflicted.

(…) to be continued.

Bonjour!

Hello there lovely fella

My name is Zahra Thania -or Zee on most occasions- and I started this blog on a midnight whim just three days after New Year’s. Why? I absolutely have no idea myself, considering I already have a blog of four years* that’s gained a probable amount of readers. But as an intuitive extrovert (according to the Myers Briggs test) it’s not unusual for me to stumble upon an idea and bring it to life at the spur of the moment.

If you are an experienced reader from my previous blog (which I highly suspect you are either a friend or a family member), I am truly sorry for restarting my blogging journey. There is a certain reason as to why I’m doing this and to mention it briefly it’s simply because I have grown out of my previous blog. If you perhaps noticed too, I did write very few blog posts last year for a reason I don’t really understand myself aside from being extremely lonely and uninspired.

I tried numerous attempts at creating useful contents but they always end up as unfinished drafts. Therefore, in feeding my will to deliver my writings more actively, I decided to make a new blog with an entirely new and novel platform.

And here it is! And here you are. I am happy that you are here, and I hope that you are too. Do subscribe to my blog so that you can keep up with my future contents. Also, thank you for visiting my little internet home! I wish I could offer you a matcha latte or something.

Love always, Zee

(the muggle writer in fluffy rose website)